I have a book to finish and I cannot say I do not have the motivation to finish, I do. You ever taste something really good and get to the last bite, then take a look at it before eating it; ponder its delectable taste before engulfing it into your mouth ? If so, then you know how I feel about this book. It’s good writing and the concepts good and there are scenes that just taste good, yet I don’t want to take that last bite because it will be done, over. Then what, do I go in search of another bite, another good write ?

You dont have to answer that, but you get where I am coming from, right ? Especially those writers who are now on their third or fourth novels. They have been there, done that and have moved on, hmmm?

Completing this first book is a step I am not so sure I am really ready to take. It is like looking at that last bite, staring at it and shaking my head with the knowledge, this is it, may be the last time I ever taste something so good.

I don’t have to convince myself of what motivates me, I love writing. I love a great concept; that idea that spins itself into a whole web of ideas. Picking up a pen and writing down the first thing that comes to your mind, is a blast for me because I love the taste of words, and using those words knowledgably. I love concepts that merge together to form unique visions;  journeys that take you on adventuresome plights. Mmm words taste good to me, they get into my head and drip down into my mouth, and as I salivate with eager taste buds, a word pops up and mmm oh so sweet as it touches the right spot on my palate. I am motivated to take that last bite er last step towards finishing my book, I just dont know when that will happen. Ok maybe I know a little about when it should happen, soon.

August was my own deadline and here 15 days into the month and I have yet to start on its completion. Can you say Procrastination? I can, PROCRASTINATION !!!!!

I find that when I think of my book I can smile and think of its ending and remember all the great things about its middle. BUT, I dont like the beginning. I know where I want to go with the beginning and all I have to do is write it, but I dont, I dont even go near the pages. Hilarious of me actually; I described a person who loves words and writing and ha, who am I really kidding, myself maybe ?

You would think I was afraid of the darn thing. Maybe thats where this is leading. Fear. Fear of what comes next. Not the middle, not the end, but the beginning to something new, next.

WooHoo, wait just a till tally second here (in my best Sarah Palin’s voice) you are motivated to go and write, but you procastinate because you may be fearful of what comes next ?

Psychology 101 if any of you did not know that, its Freuds fault.

I’m not afraid of what comes next, I know what comes next, its another book and praying, another one after that, BUT not like the 1st.

Nothings like the first. Not the second bite or the second book. Moving forward towards what’s next. Not looking at it as the last bite, but looking at it as the next bite will taste even better.

With that said, Im really obligated to finish. Im obligated to myself, no one else, just me.

So, with a sigh and a shake of my head I know I must finish, by my deadline, because I will only disappoint the one person I started writing for in the first place, me.

See you at the finish line, end.

Next.